In order to make myself feel better about what I'm about to say, I'm going to choose to believe that most people have fantasies about something bad happening to a person who does something that grates on your nerves - preferably something bad happening when they are doing the thing that grates on your nerves in an effort to teach them a lesson.
Tonight I took my Children to Target. They were monsters. I'm not surprised by their monsterness, nor did I think a trip to Target was a good idea - but I had to buy laundry detergent and I like the Target laundry detergent.
Shopping = kids going crazy, but that was to be expected. Check out = kids going crazy, grabbing stuff, but that was to be expected.
We headed out the door following behind a large gentleman who had just stocked up on several bags of Atkins bars. Good for him.
The next thing I know, I'm checking the bottom of my basket to make sure my detergent doesn't rattle off and during the .2 seconds in which I look down, the guy in front of me stops cold, in the narrow walkway and my cart slams into him - hard.
We slammed into him so hard, my initial thought was not, "Oh, I just hit a person." Instead, it was, "What the hell is my cart caught on?" So naturally I kept pushing...until I realized it was a person.
Since my kids were with me and I was genuinely shocked, I immediately said, "I'm so sorry." (Which, for the record, I was not.) To which he replied, "I guess I probably shouldn't stop like that when I'm walking out a door."
And you know what, he's right. You should not stop like that when you're walking through a door or driving down a road or when you get to the top/bottom of a flight of stairs, nor should you select that location to stop and chat with your mates, figure out where you're going on a map.
This is a huge pet peeve of mine and while I didn't intentionally ram my basket into this person (not even subconsciously - not that I would know), I won't lie, it's always been a dream of mine to ram my basket into someone when they do the mega-stupid-insta-stop.
It felt good and since I'm really spinning this for the positive - hopefully someone learned a valuable lesson...and by someone, I mean that other guy.
4 comments:
Nor should you stop in the middle of a hallway during a passing period in a high school that has 3000 students. Drives.me.crazy.
You are so awesome.
That is a huge pet peeve of mine as well, and in Norway every single person stops right as they get off the escalator, as they can't seem to make up their minds about where to go next in this world the escaltor just revealed to them.
Good for you.
Hilarious!
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