DAVEANDBETHANY.COM

Dreams Do Come True

2012-01-30T20:30:00.005-06:00

In order to make myself feel better about what I'm about to say, I'm going to choose to believe that most people have fantasies about something bad happening to a person who does something that grates on your nerves - preferably something bad happening when they are doing the thing that grates on your nerves in an effort to teach them a lesson.

Tonight I took my Children to Target. They were monsters. I'm not surprised by their monsterness, nor did I think a trip to Target was a good idea - but I had to buy laundry detergent and I like the Target laundry detergent.

Shopping = kids going crazy, but that was to be expected. Check out = kids going crazy, grabbing stuff, but that was to be expected.

We headed out the door following behind a large gentleman who had just stocked up on several bags of Atkins bars. Good for him.

The next thing I know, I'm checking the bottom of my basket to make sure my detergent doesn't rattle off and during the .2 seconds in which I look down, the guy in front of me stops cold, in the narrow walkway and my cart slams into him - hard.

We slammed into him so hard, my initial thought was not, "Oh, I just hit a person." Instead, it was, "What the hell is my cart caught on?" So naturally I kept pushing...until I realized it was a person.

Since my kids were with me and I was genuinely shocked, I immediately said, "I'm so sorry." (Which, for the record, I was not.) To which he replied, "I guess I probably shouldn't stop like that when I'm walking out a door."

And you know what, he's right. You should not stop like that when you're walking through a door or driving down a road or when you get to the top/bottom of a flight of stairs, nor should you select that location to stop and chat with your mates, figure out where you're going on a map.

This is a huge pet peeve of mine and while I didn't intentionally ram my basket into this person (not even subconsciously - not that I would know), I won't lie, it's always been a dream of mine to ram my basket into someone when they do the mega-stupid-insta-stop.

It felt good and since I'm really spinning this for the positive - hopefully someone learned a valuable lesson...and by someone, I mean that other guy.

Why God Created Barbie Movies

2012-01-29T20:18:00.002-06:00

VIOLET: "Mom, why did God create movies?"

MOM: "God made people and people make movies for several different reasons. Sometimes they make movies to make people laugh, sometimes to cry, sometimes to bring an issue to light, sometimes to educate us."

VIOLET: "Do you know why God made Barbie movies?"

MOM: "No. I do not (thinking: to torture parents)."

VIOLET: "I do. He made them to bring joy to children. Children like me. They bring me joy."

---------------

Tonight we watched "Barbie: Princess Charm School." It was the third time Violet watched it today. It brought her joy.

Rebecca's Birthday and Hill Country Wine Tour

2012-01-29T07:53:00.002-06:00

Very smart of us to book seats on a tour bus...

Violet's First Sentence

2012-01-26T19:59:00.002-06:00

She seemed to be in a good mood this evening, but her note indicates otherwise.

Park Time

2012-01-26T19:58:00.001-06:00

DAY 4: The Resistance

2012-01-23T20:21:00.003-06:00

Violet, a child genetically bred to be the most stubborn person on the planet (or one of the two most), refuses to clean her room. And we're not going to clean it for her.

Almost everything in her room is currently piled into two contractor garbage bags where she has two options:

1. Remove the items and put them where they belong.

2. Leave the items in the bag and they go out to the trash on Thursday.

It is so infuriating to watch money, quite literally, be tossed out with the trash.

This evening, Violet asked to go to bed after dinner - because she would rather go to bed than clean her room.

For the past four days, our house has been an unhappy house of yelling, crying and screaming.

We're at the point now where we cannot let her win.

So frustrating to watch a child behave this way.
So frustrating to see your child be so lazy.
So frustrating to have to let the process play out.
So frustrating to work all day and then listen to screaming all night.

At this point she's going to be lucky if the stuff isn't in the trash in the morning.

UPDATE: Violet stayed up until almost 10PM and she cleaned her room. Sure she was impossible to get out of bed this morning...but her room is clean.

unHappy Chinese New Year

2012-01-22T19:15:00.004-06:00

Today, to make sure we turn out the Lunar New Year in style, our kids decided to be complete and total assholes...

...except, for some reason, when it came time to take photos. The kids who NEVER want to cooperate with photos, were all giggles and grins when the camera came out.

We missed all three of the New Year dinner options we had (thanks to those who invited us - sorry for the late cancellations).

Assholes.

Look at this sweetness...

This kid, who's grinning, is grounded from everything we can ground her from until eternity:

This kid now spends at least a solid 30 minutes per day in time out:

This is David "smiling:"

Closer to the reality of the day:

Personalities

2012-01-16T20:50:00.000-06:00

They come out at bath time.

Saylor's Birthday at Menchie's

2012-01-16T17:17:00.002-06:00

Casper the Friendly Gorilla

2012-01-11T07:52:00.002-06:00

Violet told me she traced a gorilla shape.

-Dave

New Years Day 2012

2012-01-08T09:50:00.002-06:00

We started the year by capturing a little something to blackmail David with in the future.

And I made cornbread again this year for John and Alanna's annual cornbread cookoff.

New Years Eve 2011

2012-01-08T09:46:00.002-06:00

We decided to mix things up this year and drive to Austin to celebrate with Auntie Rebecca. Celebrating with Rebecca means fondue.

David's first time to have fondue. Please note that when this photo was taken David had already fallen down the stairs and received four goose eggs and a black eye. Surely the fondue fork would get him next...

...nope, the cat got him next!

Drinking on NYE.

I love seeing my kids with my friends' kids. Never gets old.

Serious Business at the Carwash

2011-12-30T16:55:00.001-06:00

The Lemonade Stand

2011-12-29T22:47:00.003-06:00

Part of why we/Santa got Violet a dollhouse is because we wanted to help her customize it. The first custom-built furniture (as designed by Violet) is a lemonade stand.

I'm assuming/hoping that Violet's dollhouse is the only place on Earth where you can find sluttily-dressed Tinker Bell serving a refreshing lemonade to Claude Wolf and Draculaura.

David Does NOT Love Paris

2011-12-29T22:46:00.004-06:00

99% of the time, I cannot get Violet to smile in a photo. Here, when it's totally inappropriate for her to be smiling...presto.

Chuck E. Cheese

2011-12-29T22:42:00.002-06:00

The best part of today's outing is that when Violet rode the mini-carousel, she put on an insane show. She was waving her arms regally, jumping up and standing on the horse - it was so over-the-top insane, we didn't stop her. We, along with other passersby, watched in awe.

Dave trying to reenact this gem.

A Day in Clear Lake

2011-12-28T00:12:00.006-06:00

Today we met up with several of Dave's childhood (through college) friends and their children. It's still amazing to watch our kids play together -- seeing as we've known each other (myself included, because I've known all of these guys for at least 17 years) for so long.

Dave and I are so lucky to have so many friends from our childhood. I hope our children have the same fortune.

CHRISTMAS 2011: Christmas Cards

2011-12-27T00:59:00.001-06:00

We feel really blessed by how many people thought to send us Christmas cards this year. We typically decorate the mirror...

And this year, we had to expand to the dining room...

CHRISTMAS 2011: Destruction of the Gingerbread

2011-12-27T00:57:00.002-06:00

Our floors are already disgusting...so why not...

CHRISTMAS 2011: Violet's Favorite Thing

2011-12-27T00:53:00.003-06:00

FREE TIP: If Violet offers you something she made in her Easy Bake Oven, just say, "No."

REASON 1: She found it acceptable to take the spatula with her to the rest room.

REASON 2: She sneezes without always covering her nose.

REASON 3: While making the dough, she says, "Mom, you wanna know how big that massive poop I made was?" And she points to the balled up dough.

G. R. O. S. S.

Doesn't everyone count their cookies like this?

You have been warned. DO NOT EAT.

CHRISTMAS 2011: David's Favorite Thing

2011-12-27T00:52:00.001-06:00

He's a drummer like his Daddy.

CHRISTMAS 2011: Me and My Boy

2011-12-26T23:57:00.002-06:00

He loves photos so much, he needed to close things out...

CHRISTMAS 2011: Allee Christmas

2011-12-26T23:47:00.003-06:00

We saved the best for last. Violet finally got her Easy Bake Oven.

The Easy Bake Oven is so important that EVERYONE needs to sit on it and have a serious photo taken with it. Check out their hands. These kids crack me up.

I saw this next item on my Dad's Amazon Wishlist and it was so weird, I had to buy it. Little did I know, the real gift is that my Dad would tell us why he wanted it (mostly).

So, my Dad is holding a blow gun and darts in this photo.

According to my Dad, when he was in the Air Force and he worked nights, he and his friend would kill bugs all night. In the morning the birds would fly down to eat the bugs. That's when my Dad and his friend would shoot the birds with a blow gun...but the ammo (darts) they used were too big and powerful and they would go straight through the birds without killing them.

What?

Then one morning my Dad used the blow gun to wake up one of his roommates by shooting him in the butt.

Anyway, my Dad was noncommittal about what he plans to kill with his new blow gun and darts...but I'm sure it will be awesome.

I'm too tired to properly photoshop this - PART I. My Dad's eyes are closed in the original photo.

The ladies and David (who insisted on being in the photo - per usual).

I'm too tired to properly photoshop this - PART II. I like Gerri's expression in the edited photo.

CHRISTMAS 2011: Christmas with Grandmommy and Granddaddy

2011-12-26T23:46:00.003-06:00

The weather was gross yesterday, but there was no way we weren't going to let the kids enjoy the new swing set their Grandmommy and Granddaddy bought them.

I think it's easy to tell - they love it.

CHRISTMAS 2011: Christmas Morning

2011-12-26T23:35:00.004-06:00

I love how bewildered she is in this photo below. I've got to say this...three times this Christmas, Violet received disappointment. Disappointment meaning she either got gifts she didn't like or no gifts at all. All three times, she was gracious as could be.

After we opened gifts yesterday morning she said, "You know what? I didn't get my EasyBake Oven, but I got all of this other stuff. And this other stuff is even better. It's great. Thank you."

She's four and she's awesome (and she also got the EasyBake Oven later in the day - wait for it).

This is the first gift of the day that makes me tear up. Violet loves the movie "Anastasia." She constantly asks if she can pretend that her necklaces say, "Together in Paris," like the necklace Anastasia's Grandmother gives her in the movie.

Thanks to her amazing Daddy, Violet now has her own locket that says, "Together in Paris." Complete with a family photo. It is beyond sweet.

The most amusing gift I received: An umbrella tooth pick, so I can "stab my food all the time." Nice. I also like David photobombing us here with a sneak hug on his Sister.

The most annoying gift I got (because it still makes me blubber as I think about it): Dave took my favorite pieces of art that the kids have created, he scanned them, scaled them down, printed them, decoupaged them into silver charms and used resin epoxy to seal them. They are beautiful.

I don't typically say sappy stuff like this, but I'm going to treasure them forever. They are beautiful.

CHRISTMAS 2011: Christmas Eve Dance Party

2011-12-26T23:33:00.003-06:00

First annual Christmas Eve Dance Party...and parent tackling.

David has the sweetest moves...he is so seriously insane.

CHRISTMAS 2011: The PJs

2011-12-26T23:29:00.002-06:00

Let's just say that taking photos of the kids in their PJs this year was exponentially more difficult than it was last year.

FREE TIP: No matter how frustrated you get when trying to create perfect memories for your children, don't yell at them on Christmas Eve - you will feel terrible for the rest of the night.

And after all that frustration, I love the insane photos they took. Not worth getting upset about.

CHRISTMAS 2011: Christmas Eve

2011-12-26T23:27:00.002-06:00

Pizza and rum and Diet Coke for Santa. Good thing the rum and Diet Coke had not yet been poured...

Synchronized gift opening...

CHRISTMAS 2011: Gould Family Christmas

2011-12-26T23:26:00.001-06:00

Christmas with the Creeches

2011-12-24T10:54:00.001-06:00

Family Dinner

2011-12-23T22:38:00.001-06:00

Shopping

2011-12-23T22:37:00.001-06:00

My #1 Girl

2011-12-23T11:39:00.001-06:00

It's That Time of Year!

2011-12-22T00:21:00.002-06:00

Click on the image to see the show.

Pizza and "Gingerbread" With the MacGs

2011-12-21T22:49:00.004-06:00

Noelle had a brilliant idea to get the kids together to make pizza and gingerbread houses. Our kids had an awesome time and Violet made sure the little kids understood, "With all these bowls of candy around, you can just grab it and eat it."

Luckily some decorating was done and lots of pizza was made.

Thanks to the MacGs for the awesome evening!

David did so good...until he figured out you could eat the toppings...

Jackson's expression here = hilarious.

Thank You, Liam!

2011-12-21T22:46:00.002-06:00

The kids got their first gifts of the season today from their friend Liam. Both kids love their gifts, but one gift caused a certain child to run around the house today (pantsless) roaring like a dinosaur.

David LOVES his dinosaur slippers. Thank you, guys.

Christmas with the Carters 2011

2011-12-19T08:53:00.000-06:00

Christmas Cookies 2011

2011-12-19T07:51:00.000-06:00

The cookies came out good, so that's what really matters.

These are the two least offensive photos.

Violet's Class Party 2011 (Also, a Room Mom Rant)

2011-12-16T21:40:00.003-06:00

I'm gonna start with the rant. Well, maybe not so much a rant as observations and statements.

I'm extremely good at my job (the one I'm paid for). Part of my job is planning events (both paid job and Room Parent job). In being good at my job, I can tell you that in event planning you should always adhere to this principal:

Event planning is not a democracy.

If you think about it and you've hosted a party or event that was difficult to host or pull off, you'll know that this is one of the best pieces of guidance one can give you. Another piece of guidance (that I always give my teams at work): If you throw the party, you don't get to party (this one doesn't apply here because I am not 3 - 6 years old - and neither were the complainers).

On to the photos.

I got the idea for our teacher presents from my friend, Kat. If you're looking for a cool teacher gift that the kids can personalize, but it won't look like a hunk of crap, do this:

- Buy a windchime that's made from shells (like the translucent shell parts).
- Give the kids sharpies and let them decorate the shells.

Fairly easy and looks great. Our teachers loved them and the kids had fun making them.

Violet's Christmas Program 2011

2011-12-16T21:29:00.002-06:00

POSITIVES:

Performing on same stage Patrick Swayze performed on when he was growing up.

We could see our kid.

My flight made it home on time to see our kid.

Our kid sang.

NEGATIVE:
The air conditioning was out at the school and this is Texas - it gets hot in the winter sometimes. Last night was a hot night.

Year of Change

2011-12-15T00:24:00.001-06:00

Today, December 15, 2011, I am, to the day, the exact same age my Mother was when she was murdered.

As a tribute to my Mother and to myself, this year, I’ve focused on getting myself in better health. This includes a comprehensive overhaul of anything I want to physically, chemically and mentally change about my well-being, including:

Having nine metal fillings replaced with ceramic bond
Root canal
Canine vaneer installed
Canine vaneer replaced
Getting and healing a salivary stone
Starting allergy shots
Having deviated septum surgery
Six laser hair removal treatments
Having a big mole removed
Undergoing two comprehensive sleep apnea studies
Sleep apnea diagnosis
Started using CPAP
Lasik (both eyes)
Integration of better diet and exercise into routine (going on two months)

When I type it out like that, it doesn’t seem like that much…but it required me seriously focusing on driving the results throughout the entire year.

I’ve still got 16 days left in the year. I wonder what else I can do? I’m officially on “borrowed time,” so I want to make every day count – even more than I already did before.

Dance, Violet! Dance!

2011-12-12T21:45:00.005-06:00

I am not a dance expert, but I am pretty sure this is not the most politically correct way to dance like an elephant.

Begin "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

Violet seemed less enthusiastic the second time through the routine.

-Dave

Holiday PJs

2011-12-06T08:19:00.000-06:00

Dancin'

2011-12-03T23:38:00.004-06:00

Leading up to going to the Festival of Lights tonight, V talked about her favorite lights - the ballerinas. When we got to the festival the girls started dancing like ballerinas. Then Violet got upset and started sobbing. When we asked her what was wrong, she said, "Someone hit me."

We unintentionally got awesome photographic proof.

Festival of Lights 2011

2011-12-03T23:02:00.006-06:00

Festival of Lights 2010.
Festival of Lights 2009.

My favorite light display is still there. If you go to the Festival of Lights, stand by this light display and listen to people giggle and make lewd comments as they pass by. This inappropriate monkey lighting scene has become an integral part of my holiday tradition. I love it.

I don't know what I was going for with this look, but know that underneath, it is love.

"Mommy, how could you let me fall and bonk my head?"

Thank You, Aunt Helyn!

2011-11-30T21:01:00.002-06:00

Giraffe and Princess

2011-11-30T20:58:00.003-06:00

Decorating the Tree 2011

2011-11-26T13:17:00.002-06:00

Positive of this year's tree decorating experience:
Both kids really wanted to help.

Negative of this year's tree decorating experience:
Both kids really wanted to help. A lot.

Each year we get the kids an ornament. When they're old enough, they get to pick their own ornament. David, a spirited child, refused to leave the store without two ornaments: Cookie Monster and "Melmo." Now that we're home, he's only interested in one of them. And he is very proud that it is hanging on the tree.

Violet and Daddy putting the star on the tree. Violet did a great job putting ornaments on the tree this year. It was fun to decorate with her (with her).

Christmas Photo Session

2011-11-25T22:11:00.005-06:00

We've never done an impromtu photo session at the mall, with David. We changed that tonight...and it's a good thing we did. He is magic in front of the green screen.

May I present, Violet and David visit the mountains with a column, some stuffed animals and some head banging. In order of awesomeness (from awesome to maximum awesome):

Defying the laws of gravity. Hanging out on the snow, on a marble column.

David, go and sit on your Sister.

David, stop poking eyes. Just sit on your Sister.

Fine. Violet, you sit on the column and David you...wait, nevermind, just do it that way and here's a stuffed animal.

Violet, nice job on remembering there will be a mountain green-screened in. That's pro-style, babe.

And...happy holidays.

Ghetto Santa (2011 Edition)

2011-11-25T22:08:00.002-06:00

2011:

2010:

2009:

2008:

2007:

Family Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-24T23:13:00.004-06:00

Isn't there a stat that says one out of four people is crazy? If I were a betting woman...

It's amazing how quickly things can go from fairly normal to total WT when I hang out with my family -- which is one of the many reasons I love them.

"We've got all this oil. We need to find something else to fry. Let's fry pickles!" - My Bro...and another reason I love him. And the photo below is another reason I love my SIL too.

John's first fried pickle, ever.

Thanksgiving Parade 2011 -- The Highlights

2011-11-24T23:06:00.005-06:00

Click here for the...
2010 highlights
2009 highlights
2008 highlights
2007 highlights

If there's an inappropriate sticker to have randomly stuck to your jacket...I'm not sure it gets any better than this.

If you know Rob, you know that this is a moment where something you love meets something else you love, meets something else you love. Perfect storm of love...and when you think this couldn't get any better, Noelle matches the Smurf.

General Mills gave away huge boxes of cereal at the end of the parade. Kids love cereal, so...hooray!

Friendsgiving 2012

2011-11-21T08:51:00.000-06:00

Bigger and better than ever. I believe we've found the max capacity that our backyard can hold.

We have amazing friends, who are incredible cooks. And I didn't take one photo this year -- thankfully Dave took a few.

Kids table for 25, adult table for 60. Bouncy house for as many as we can cram in.

John, AKA kid ride.

Taekwondo Update

2011-11-21T08:48:00.000-06:00

On Saturday, Violet had a make up class for Taekwondo. It went OK. She had trouble focusing with all of the mirrors that were around (I have no idea where she gets that from).

Two Little Indians

2011-11-18T21:46:00.003-06:00

May I present two 1/64th Comanches (I think Comanche, anyway):

Authentic Indian food, pizza.

A Personal History of Go-karting

2011-11-16T08:31:00.004-06:00

I've been go-carting three times. None of which have gone well. The first went the worst.

In early 1992, my Dad, Brother and I went to an indoor batting cage. I didn't have any interest in batting, so I asked my Dad for some money so I could do something else. He gave me some money and I decided that I would try out the go-carts.

It was a cold day, so no one was outside - even the attendant wasn't outside. I had to find someone to get me a go-cart and then I was on my way. Alone. The go-cart attendant went back inside.

On my second lap, I ran into the side of the track, ramped up a hay bail and flipped the cart. I remember crawling out of the go-cart and thinking, "How am I supposed to get the go-cart flipped back over?" And then I realized, it's not my go-cart and no one's out here, so I left it there. Still running. Upside down on the hay.

I walked back inside and watched my Dad and Brother finish with the batting cages. I looked disheveled, so my Dad asked me if I was OK. I told him that I crashed a go-cart, but I was fine. To which my Brother and Father were confused as to how one crashes a go-cart and they still make fun of me about it to this day.

Tonight I will make my fourth venture into the world of go-carting -- which will also be my first professional (I.E. teambuilding event that was obviously selected by the younger men on my team) foray into the world of go-carting.

I am less than enthused.

The Day the Music Died

2011-11-14T22:10:00.003-06:00

For years I have been the youngest person at business dinners. For years I have given my teammates and partners a hard time when they date themselves with their choices in music.

Tonight, November 14, 2011, the tables turned. The mean, old, ugly tables turned.

I attempted to engage two younger teammates in a discussion around Pandora and Spotify. When discussing “channels” of choice, I suggested “Rage Against the Machine.” To which I was told, “Yeah, they’re a little before our time (har har har har).”

Rage. Against. The. Machine.

That’s not a cool feeling. I would like to apologize for years of making the “way to date yourself” joke. While it was hilarious at the time, it is no longer funny when it applies to me.

Renfest 2011: The Overview

2011-11-12T20:57:00.006-06:00

The last time I went to the Texas Renaissance Festival, I was in high school. Renaissance festivals, or Renfests, are not exactly my thing.

===========
RENFEST:
King's Swing
Turkey and Sleep
Horses and Bungies
Face Painting
===========

Why?

I'm glad you asked.

It's because I don't get them.

The activities/dress/crafts are not from the Renaissance.

They are an excuse for people to wear slutty/weird clothes. Don't get me wrong - do whatever floats your boat. I don't care. I don't have to understand it though. I almost understand the slutty clothes thing - who doesn't want their boobs to have a little extra lift? Corsets are great for that.

I said "a little extra lift." Ladies, if your corset causes your boobs to create a wall of breast, the outfit you're wearing is not for you. I'm doing you a favor here. Trust me. It doesn't look good. (If you don't know what a wall of breast looks like - go to a Renfest.)

Barbarians - Heh? How does this relate to the Renfest (I mean, even with a loose interpretation of "Renaissance")? Please explain. Someone.

Another thing that needs explaining - Steampunks. Folks, the past called and it doesn't want you to rewrite it with a crappier solution for powering the world. Also, how the hell do you relate to the Renaissance? I guess if you're going for an exact opposite of what should be at a Renaissance Festival sort-of-thing, then OK - but seriously, that does not make sense in this reality or the imaginary one you're trying to represent. Also, steampunks, I just don't get it. I also don't get why steampunks would wear little hats. Can someone please explain this to me? Why would steam power require anyone to wear tiny hats? Also, what's the point of a really tiny hat? As a person with a large head, I can tell you that a hat that's too small is just a waste of time. It serves no purpose and it keeps falling off.

Fairy/elf ears. Hmmm-in-a, hmmm-in-a. Why, sweet Jesus, is everyone wearing fairy ears? It looks like you have fingers sticking off of your head. FYI.

Lack of commitment. If you're going to take the time to go to a festival and dress up in historically inaccurate clothing and talk with a fake British accent - commit. Do it all the way. Don't half-ass it with the "G'day m'lady"s. For example: GOOD: "G'day m'lady. Wouldst though like a pint of our finest ale? That will be four shillings, please." BAD: "My lady, if you want a beer it's going to be four bucks." Commit. Go big or go home.

Lastly, Waldo. What the hell is Waldo doing at the Renfest?

VIOLET: "Dad, I'm sick of all this walking."

Family photo + monk on an electric scooter = Renfest 2011!

"Violet, we have to leave the Renaissance Festival now."

Renfest 2011: The King's Swing

2011-11-12T20:56:00.002-06:00

This photo keeps making me laugh.

Renfest 2011: Turkey and Sleep

2011-11-12T20:55:00.002-06:00

Renfest 2011: Horses and Bungies

2011-11-12T20:52:00.002-06:00

One they had during the Renaissance. The other they did not. But as I learned today, Renfests are not about historical accuracy.

Renfest 2011: Face Painting

2011-11-12T20:50:00.003-06:00

HALLOWEEN: Trick-or-treating

2011-10-31T22:16:00.004-05:00

It's a bold move to trick-or-treat while eating a cookie.

Still bold.

"Let us go. Must get more candy."

Still bold.

Still bold with posse.

Baby loves candy.

Pizza.

HALLOWEEN: Family Shots

2011-10-31T22:15:00.002-05:00

HALLOWEEN: The Costumes

2011-10-31T22:07:00.003-05:00

SEASONAL ENSEMBLE 02: This year, Violet and David dressed up as "Down on their luck Lilo and Stitch." Once again, can you feel the excitement just radiating from them? Oh and why yes, I did sew Violet's dress.

Buzz Lightyear takes his duties very seriously.

The natives are restless.

Garden gnome is in touch with nature.

Garden gnome is angry.

Halloween Jammies

2011-10-30T21:24:00.002-05:00

Baby monkey!!!

Face "Painting"

2011-10-30T21:21:00.003-05:00

VIOLET: "Mom, can we draw on each other's faces with markers?"
ME: "Yes, just be nice."

UPDATE: The markers selected weren't washable. After a bit of scrubbing I think the dots are mostly gone.

Dave's Pumpkin 2011

2011-10-30T00:08:00.003-05:00

I used to believe that Dave's pumpkins, while beautiful, cursed the subject. I have changed my mind. I now believe they bring both extremely bad and extremely good luck. Therefore, I was open to Dave using a person I love as his subject.

In case you do not know this about me, I love Ron Artest. I genuinely believe he is one of the most awesome people of all times.

He came from nothing and is one of the most passionate players in the NBA. The man is an active volunteer and an advocate for the disadvantaged, children and animals. He didn't like it when someone threw a beer at him, so he beat that person's ass -- a lesson their parents should have taught them -- he's a surrogate parent.

This year a friend of mine, Sara, hosted a party with Ron Artest. She told Ron how much I love him and they sent me a signed photo to his "#1."

Recently Ron Artest changed his name to Metta World Peace, so his jersey will display "World Peace" on the back. Since the NBA cannot get it's business together and since Metta was voted off of Dancing with the Stars, I want to do anything I can to help him further his message of being a decent, awesome person. And I have the coolest Husband in the world -- one who's willing to help me do that.

This year's pumpkin comes with a play list (cause, did you know, Metta is also an artist). Get the play list.

Dear Metta, I wish you much more success and I hope you love this as much as we love you! Keep being awesome.

Last year's pumpkin.

Seasonal Ensemble 01

2011-10-29T22:57:00.003-05:00

Pocahontas and Dalmation went to today's Fall Festival at V's school. Can you sense their excitement?

Stompeez

2011-10-29T22:43:00.002-05:00

A few months ago, Violet saw a commercial for Stompeez on TV. She woke up the next morning and told me, "Mom, last night I had a magical dream. Aunt Mae Lin bought me unicorn Stompeez."

Aunt Mae Lin surprised Violet and made her dream come true:

And now she stomps everywhere...and so does David.

The Ceramic Pumpkins

2011-10-26T21:20:00.003-05:00

Sombreros

2011-10-26T20:06:00.000-05:00

MEXICO: Cave Swimming

2011-10-26T08:22:00.000-05:00

If you're keeping track:
Zip-lining = like
Rappelling = hate
Swimming in a cave = LOVE

We went swimming in a "cenote." A cenote is a cave full of crystal-clear water. It's beautiful and amazing and refreshing and all things awesome (basically, the opposite of rappelling).

Pure sexiness...

MEXICO: Rappelling is Terrible

2011-10-26T08:11:00.001-05:00

I liked zip-lining. I did not like rappelling.

Wait, "did not like" is not strong enough. I hated rappelling.

I'm a "never say never" kind of gal, but I will NEVER go rappelling again unless it is a life-or-death scenario.

Rappelling is not fun. If you think rappelling is fun, there's no way to sugarcoat it, you are dumb.

You're asking yourself, it's just going down a rock or wall on a rope, what's so bad about that? LET ME TELL YOU...

1. In order to rappel, you must stand with your back facing a big opening that will allow you to fall to your death with one false move.

2. Then you put the heels of your feet over that edge (while still backward).

3. Then you are asked to "just sit down" over the edge of the wall.

It is not natural to sit into nothingness. It is not natural to like sitting into nothingness. It is not fun to sit into nothingness.

In case it is not clear, I did not like rappelling:

You know what I like less than rappelling? Photos taken of me while I rappel. Seriously, check out the leg fat. NICE!

Dave liked rappelling. I do not get it.

MEXICO: Zip-lining

2011-10-26T08:04:00.002-05:00

During our 10-year Anniversary trip, we went zip-lining. I don't like heights or climbing up lots of stairs, or standing in a rickety tower..but I did like ziplining.

We were told to "look tough." I think Dave belives "tough" = "crazy."

MEXICO: El Dorado Seaside Suites

2011-10-23T21:45:00.002-05:00

Dave did all the research and he deserves 100% of the credit for finding this gem. It's a small, adults-only resort with high-end food and bev...and there are beds and hammocks all over the place.

So awesome.........

MEXICO: Shopping (Playa Del Carmen)

2011-10-23T21:44:00.000-05:00

MEXICO: Tulum

2011-10-23T21:38:00.006-05:00

During our 10-year Anniversary trip, we visited Tulum. We had a tour guide who wanted to give us his version of the Mayan culture and his take was very long (and had some historical inaccuracies), so this first photo was taken about five seconds before I said, "Dave, I'm ready to ditch the tour group. Hopefully Jill and Jason will figure it out."

Heh heh.

They did figure it out, about five minutes later. Suckers.

As for Tulum...many visitors criticize it for being small and "only 500 years old." Whatever, it's the only Mayan ruin on the beach and it's gorgeous. It's also very easy to hike and climb around.

Jason's shirt is driving me nuts as I sit here and edit these photos...so I've crudely photoshopped the "Poke Me" out in this shot:

A Challenge to United Airlines -

2011-10-19T01:10:00.005-05:00

I am a loyal Continental customer, so now, by virtue of your acquisition of Continental, I'm a loyal United customer -- but you don't want me to be. You do everything in your power to make me hate you.

Every time I get on a flight -- which is pretty much weekly -- you look me in the face, Jeff Smisek, and you lie to me. During the in-flight greeting, you say, "We're willing to go the extra mile to earn your business."

I call bull shit, Jeff. Bull. Shit.

Let me give you a few examples as to why this is bull shit:

EXAMPLE 1: It's 1:26 AM on 10/19/11 -- tomorrow is my 10-year-anniversary and my Husband is trying to take me to Mexico so I can relax on the beach. Too bad our seats were separated, without notification, again, for the seventh flight in a row. And now I sit here, 54 minutes into a call and I give in -- I just paid you more money and 25,000 miles to ensure my Husband and I get to sit together on our anniversary trip. As far as business goes, good job, man! You just scored a whooping additional $125! As far as "earning my business goes" -- nope, Jeff.

EXAMPLE 2: June 28, 2011 -- While making a seven hour flight to Alaska, you upgraded my 15-month-old son to first class. Yes, that's correct. You upgraded my 15-month-old son, but not me -- not that, that would have been any better since I was flying with my family and I had turned off my upgrade option. We decided to be nice people and keep our mouths shut -- see we're trying to set a good example for our children -- we sat in our separated seats and minded our own business. Half-way through the flight my Husband and I switched seats so we could trade off with our baby. Upon doing so, I was very rudely reprimanded by the flight attendant and after we explained the situation to her she said "You name is not on the seat, you cannot sit here." To which I responded, "Do you want our 15-month-old son to sit in first class alone?" And her response, "If you think that's appropriate." Guess what? I don't find that appropriate. You know who else doesn't? You -- it violates your policy. I've been on the fence about suing you, but I'm about to throw the other leg over. Jeff, do you think it's a good idea for a 15-month-old to sit alone in first class? Why would you upgrade a 15-month-old alone? Why would your personnel suggest that my 15-month-old sit alone? What the hell, Jeff?

EXAMPLE 3: I took my kids to Disney World in July. It's the American Dream, Jeff. Have you taken your family to Disney World? When you went to Disney World, did you get to sit together? We didn't. When you went to Disney World did you have to sit on the airplane for two hours? We did -- you know the best part of sitting on the plane for two hours? After sitting there for two hours they said we could get off the plane. The problem, Jeff, is that two hours is already an excessive amount of time on a plane. When I asked the crew about this, I was told, "You've been free to get off the aircraft at anytime during this two hours." What the hell, Jeff? I certainly didn't feel like I was free to get off the aircraft at any time during the two hours -- given the crew kept making announcements like, "Please stay seated and make sure your seat belt is fastened." That doesn't sound "free to get off the aircraft" does it, Jeff?

Jeff, your staff hates you. Every call I have with United indicates that the person on the other end of the line thinks that you're a dipshit. It's more than indicates, most of them will openly say they loath you and the crap changes you've made to Continental.

I'm not going to go into the specs of my OnePass account, but I'm sure you have access to my account and you can look it up and you can see how terrible you've treated me and my family over the past year.

I'd love to say I won't fly you any more, but direct flights are critical to my line of business.

I will say that I hate United so much, I'm considering moving to another city so I can have access to another major airport. That's a lot of dedicated hate, Jeff. To pick up a life in one city and move hours away from family and friends to get away from the craptastic service offering that is United -- that's a lot of hate.

Really, when all is said and done, I want you to realise that I'm a very nice person and a very loyal customer and your company has had a negative impact on the past SEVEN trips I've taken with my family. When I think back to my family's amazing adventure in Alaska, it's underscored with, "And do you remember when they bumped the baby to first class and were horrible to us?" And when I think about Disney World, it's punctuated with, "Gosh, it would have been nice to have sat together as a family on our family vacation -- especially since United changed our seats with no notification or reason." And most recently, as I look forward to my 10-year-anniversary trip, all I can think is, "I hope my Husband and I get to sit together on our 10-year-anniversary trip." That's sad, Jeff.

Here's an opportunity for you to get behind your words -- earn my business.

Bethany

Wings Over Houston 2011 Pt.3

2011-10-16T23:32:00.001-05:00

Wings Over Houston 2011 Pt.2

2011-10-16T23:22:00.007-05:00

Wings Over Houston 2011 Pt.1

2011-10-16T23:12:00.006-05:00

Cuteness

2011-10-15T21:02:00.001-05:00

Jenni's Noodle House

2011-10-15T21:00:00.001-05:00

David's Last Day of School

2011-10-15T20:58:00.004-05:00

David's last day at his school was Friday. While I'm not crazy about his school (hence the change), it will be the first time in five years that I haven't had a child at this school. That was a little sad.

David was cool with going though.

You Know Your Kids Are Dirty When...

2011-10-09T17:22:00.002-05:00

...this is what the bottom of the bathtub looks like post-bath:

Dewberry Farms 2011

2011-10-08T21:47:00.004-05:00

Last year...

This year...

Pumpkin Patch 2011

2011-10-08T21:43:00.002-05:00

Pumpkin Patch 2010.

Pumpkin Patch 2009.

Pumpkin Patch 2008.

Pumpkin Patch 2007.

Cousins' Sleepover

2011-10-07T22:17:00.004-05:00

I'm ready for the sleeping to begin.

Violet @ Four Years: Month Three

2011-10-05T19:20:00.004-05:00

Violet -

Your current existence is summarized nicely by these quick points:

You love Ke$ha, Justin Bieber and Beyonce. You sing "All the Single Ladies" as "All the Cigarettes," so...there's lots of room for improvement in this bullet.

You are surprisingly good at ballet. Watching you do "first position," "jete," "plié," "close position"...seriously cute.

The other day your Brother started crying and he woke you up. When you woke up, you looked at your Brother and said, "Why do you always have to be so dramatic?"

You love to give status reports on who in your class misbehaves daily.

You like to breathe in my face, because you know it grosses me out.

You are willing to share cookies with your Brother.

Today, you threw a temper tantrum during your after school program, because they refused to call you by your "new name," "Rosetta." You keep telling everyone that you and "your Mom" agreed to change your name, so they need to call you "Rosetta."

You exhaust us at times. At other times you are the sweetest being on the planet.

I wish I could freeze time with your four-year-old self. You are so entertaining.

We love you.

Mommy and Daddy
=============
Monthly updates:

Violet @ Four Years: Month One

Year Four Photo Recap

THREE YEARS: Month Eleven

THREE YEARS: Month Nine

THREE YEARS: Month Eight

THREE YEARS: Month Seven

THREE YEARS: Month Six

THREE YEARS: Month Five

THREE YEARS: Month Four

THREE YEARS: Month Three

THREE YEARS: Month Two

THREE YEARS: Month One

THREE YEARS

Year Three Photo Recap

TWO YEARS: Month Eleven

TWO YEARS: Month Ten

TWO YEARS: Month Nine

TWO YEARS: Month Eight

TWO YEARS: Month Seven

TWO YEARS: Month Six

TWO YEARS: Month Five

TWO YEARS: Month Four

TWO YEARS: Month Three

TWO YEARS: Month Two

TWO YEARS: Month One

Twenty-four Months

Year Two Photo Recap

Twenty-three Months

Twenty-two Months

Twenty-one Months

Twenty Months

Nineteen Months

Eighteen Months

Seventeen Months

Sixteen Months

Fifteen Months

Fourteen Months

Thirteen Months

Twelve Months

Year One Photo Recap

Eleven Months

Ten Months

Nine Months

Eight Months

Seven Months

Six Months

Five Months

Four Months

Three Months

Two Months

One Month

Natural Bridge Caverns - Wild Animal Safari

2011-10-03T18:05:00.004-05:00

...or as I will refer to it from here on out, "The day I learned that most animals are scary assholes."

I don't know which of the following two photos is scarier. Just know that I now hate zebras. They aren't majestic. They are sons of bitches.

Beautiful photo of an ostrich from behind, right? Wrong. This is the only photo where the damn ostrich is not attacking us.

Emus are surprisingly friendly. At least none of them attacked us anyway.

Llamas smell really bad. And they lack a sense of personal space.

Fear the llama.

Brian Fellows may have been on to something.

In Memory...

2011-09-30T20:30:00.004-05:00

Last year, Violet had to urgently go pee at the cemetery. This year was no exception.

Traditions.

This year marks the 20th anniversary of my Mom's murder, which remains unsolved.

Will's Fifth Birthday Party

2011-09-25T23:45:00.003-05:00

It took us five years, but we finally made it to our God Son, Will's, Birthday Party. It was a good time.

Angelic David and Max

Very Ritzy

2011-09-25T23:41:00.004-05:00

I wanted to use points to pay for a hotel room this weekend. It was cheaper (point-wise) to stay at the Ritz-Carlton than it was to stay in an economy hotel...

Since we were out-of-town for our God Son, Will's, Birthday, we invited him over for a sleepover. Upon entering a Ritz-Carlton for the first time, he followed us to the elevator, where he promptly laid on the ground, put his arms behind his head, crossed his legs at the knees and made himself comfortable.

That kid is awesome.

Ribs

2011-09-25T23:41:00.001-05:00

It's official, we all love ribs.

The Cousins Party Hard

2011-09-23T21:18:00.002-05:00

Some party harder than others...

The Day, Part III: China

2011-09-18T23:47:00.003-05:00

Since I've made this day about me, let me start by saying that after fifteen years of being in a relationship with Dave (BTW, it took us a good minute of debating to realize we've been together fifteen years), tonight was the first time I've ever eaten with chopsticks around the Chinese side of the family. I went full-on "no fork."

With that said, Happy Birthday to Aunt Polly and Amy! We love you guys!

The Day, Part II: Hell

2011-09-18T23:41:00.003-05:00

Today my ears were graced by the music stylings of 3, 4 and 5-year-olds doing karaoke to Taylor Swift.

Thank God there was champagne.

I decided to go along with the "rock n' roll" theme and wear my Kiss shirt. I was the only person who opted to go this route -- because I am awesome.

After talking to one of the Dad's for about 10 minutes, he says to me, "Oh, it's a rock n' roll party. I now understand why you're wearing (gesturing to all of me)...that."

Yeah, cause Kiss rocks mofo and I've seen them in concert three times (twice with Nugent) and I've gone in full makeup and most importantly, Kiss embodies rock n' roll, bitch. And also, never, ever, ever say anything negative about Paul Stanley or I'll punch you and your rock n' roll hating self in the face.

This post was supposed to be about the kids. The kids had fun. The cake was good. Violet looked awesome.

I got to wear my Kiss shirt and make folks feel a little uncomfortable.

The Day, Part I: Heaven

2011-09-18T23:29:00.003-05:00

The day started with a little soul saving. Once-a-year, my childhood church has a "homecoming" and my Granny always asks us to go. Since Violet is also interested in church, we decided to do it.

Visiting with my Aunts, Uncles and Grandma was nice. Listening to the hellfire and brimstone was not. After the service, Dave now has a better understanding of why I have such a problem with organized religion and why, being raised Church of Christ, I think that the hypocrisy surrounding certain sects of Christianity is, well, not very Christian.

Anyway, my Dad and Gerri were awesome. They knew we needed to quickly get out of church to make our next engagement for the day, and -- if I'm gonna be completely honest -- I do not want to eat potluck meals.

I will clarify further -- unless I have hand selected each participant of the potluck meal and I feel confident in their ability to provide mostly non-contaminated food -- I don't want to eat potluck food.

I'm honest with the fact that I'm a germ-a-phobe. If people need to think that I'm terrible because I don't want to eat potluck food, I really don't care.

I.
Don't.
Want.
To.
Eat.
Potluck.
Food.

Before you say it or think it, Friendsgiving (a high holy holiday) abides by the "I select participants and trust them to not bring nast-o food" rule.

Anyway, we got a couple of family shots and I got to wear my FANTASTIC new Michael Kors heels -- these photos don't do these beautiful shoes justice.

Oh and we got through the service relatively unscathed. Violet only shouted "Amen" once.

Happiness Is...

2011-09-13T19:58:00.001-05:00

...bubble wrap.

I wish bubble wrap made me this happy.